arms & dangerous

I think I know exactly how Sisyphus must have felt.


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Some things have been happening lately.

Some good.

Some bad.

Today I was prescribed Lithium. It felt like having my spirit crushed under a nazi jackboot. I have severe, and rapidly cyclical changes in mood....so polarized are these moods that the doctor is convinced I am suffering from rapid-cycle bipolar disorder, and have been since my early teens. Cool! I don't feel like I have bipolar disorder......actually that isn't true. When I'm down, I'm way down....but those times usually occur with some warning, and that's most often enough time for me to ensure that I'm by myself, away from people who might get offended or bummed on my overt negativity, and manic demeanor. The flipside of that coin, however, is that when I'm up, I feel normal....or most like myself. I don't want to take lithium, but I also can't deal with being so down that I have to go hiking alone, so that I don't leave anyone with thoughts of 'unfriending' me. I need medication because their is a chemical imbalance in my brain. That much is obvious to most people that know me well, but lithium? Fuck. I recently started using pot as a mood-leveler. It works sometimes, but usually just makes me hungry for chips, and means that I stay home watching videos of cats, or graffiti, or skateboarding on youtube, rather than engaging in positive, proactive life choices.

I love my life, and I feel almost content with where I'm at. I get paid well to help people. People that the general populace are often disgusted by, and would rather just forget about. I can honestly say that I love humanity, and people in general...and that working with kids afflicted with Autism, or kids who most people would sooner shove under the proverbial rug (by means of bullshit, absurd legislation and 'the childcare system'lol) makes me legitimately happy. It doesn't matter at all that many of these kids won't think of me for the rest of their lives, or that the overwhelming majority of them even talk to me because they stand to gain something by doing so. At least I'm doing SOMETHING. I'm here, now, listening to kids tell me about their lives, and I'm actually interested. What the fuck have you ever done? I don't pass any sort of judgment on any of them, and there's nothing any of them could say or do that would make me not want to listen......

It makes so incredibly furious when over-churched, white-washed hypocrites offer me some sort of half-baked pat on the back like "you're doing the work of the gospel Chris....good on ya!".....don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even look at me. You're depressing beyond comprehension, and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're a christian. You're a sick, twisted parody of someone who SHOULD have faith, but doesn't actually have any valid reason for needing it. You were born to a middle class, white family in Canada...you won the lottery of life. You preach to hundreds of people weekly about how Christ commands us to "feed the hungry, and clothe the naked".....but of course, that mandate doesn't apply to you, except on your yearly field trip to Union Gospel Mission. You're "calling" is to tell others to get out and do it....but if you don't lead by example, nobody will follow you. Until you practice what you preach, don't you dare preach. You can remove any notion of God, or Jesus, or Buddha, or Krsna from the act of helping other human beings, and it doesn't change a thing. It shouldn't change anything. You help people because they are PEOPLE, and because you are in a position to do so. It has nothing to do with God insofar as the rendered down, fundamental meat of the act is concerned. It shouldn't. There are people that need help, and my desire to help them would exist if I believed in god, or if I didn't. If faith is your motivation for charity, you need your fucking head examined.....It upsets me greatly that something I once put so much stock in, now absolutely disgusts me. I loathe the overwhelming majority of god's followers with a fervent passion. Of course, I am absolutely the lowest of these followers, and a follower I most certainly am, but there's a difference.....I can't practice what I preach, so I don't preach. I understand that these people need help as much as the kid who was born addicted to crack, and who's foster parents beat and raped him for the first 13 years of his life, but they don't even realize that they're as lost, as fucked up, and as devoid of meaningful human interaction as the ones they commend me for helping. That makes me believe that their in an even more precarious position in God's eyes. There are some people who both preach, and practice with such a startling clarity of purpose that I covet their actions, their faith, and position in life....but these people are incredibly scarce, and can be counted on the fingers of several sets of hands. I'm excited for one of these people to move back to Vancouver from the UK, and eventually plant a church here, which is his tentative plan....and I'm excited by the prospect of once again knowing another of these individuals, if she can one day be at least friends with me again ...but at this rate, I'm not holding my breath...another of those people is my mother, who is hands down the most altruistic, giving person I have ever had the good fortune of encountering.

I understand this is a very candid, and perhaps bumming livejournal entry....but I wanted to talk about it at arms length with someone, and the people that mean the most to me actually read this inane shit. I apologize if any of this catches any of you off guard, or if it seems written in a boastful, or self-righteous manner. The fact is, I'm feeing OK. The sun still rises every morning, and that's far more than enough for me. I know how Sisyphus felt...pushing that rock around.


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BANAL MINUTIA:

1. Rick, my mom's kitten is behaving in a most incredulous manner. He is truly the world's most ill-mannered cat. I think it's finally getting to my mother, and I feel that she's close to giving him up.....TO ME! We get along just great....I think we understand each other. My spirit animal? Oui oui! Wee wee.

2. Graffiti has become far more than a juvenile hobby of mine. I've been going out several nights a week, and writing my name on things with different mediums. Interesting how a teenage obsession can rear it's head 15 years later with such renewed vigor. ERIGE-TCB-HECONE-EAST VANCOUVER. Still fresh for 96.

3. Hiking. I do it three times a week. Been getting into some technical climbing as well. Always solo. See above. Very therapeutic. Cute animals.

4. Girls. Still can't bring myself to go on hot dates. Too soon? Not interested? Maybe....I think I've just evolved to higher plane of existence-dating-conciet....I'm simply far too awesome for any boy, girl, or troll. Excepting a couple, who're a different, long, sad story. I'm Morrissey!


Thank you, and good night.

-christopher

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I was riding on your back.”

Amen.

I hike more than anyone. Another 12 K today. Wapsiiiiishhhh!

Show on Friday. so stoked to finally play with good bands.

Still feeling a bit bummy.

Bad breath is totally grounds for not liking someone, and or never speaking to that person again.

There are too many skunks around my house. I think they are super cute, but so smelly. There are lots of videos on youtube.com of people playing with baby skunks, or even adult ones, and sometimes keeping them as pets! I understand it is possible to have the scent gland removed so they cant spray around the house or stink up the yard.....but then is it even a skunk anymore*(* equals question mark)

Im feeling slightly better(emoootionally-mentally) but horrible physiologically. I think I have swine. Ive been coughing several times an hour, and oinking like crazy! Ive developed an insatiable appetite for garbage, and rolling in mud too....oh dear.

This week I didnt do much, really. I mean I did way more than most people, but still not enough. Heres a brief rundown in some 17 Mora haikus ok*

1.Untitled

On Monday I hiked
Pear, blue brie, and walnut....please
Oh does she like me***

2.Untitled

On Tuesday I worked
Walking to Romas was great
Railway club at night

3.Untitled

Wednesday is a blur
I cant remember a thing
Is that good or badddddddddddddddddddd*******

4.Untitled

Thursday I worked some
It was a nice time for all

whatever, im over the haikus. Haikus are sort of like......the Great Value brand soda of the literary world.

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Speaking of literature!.......J.K. Huysmans' "La-Bas" is amazing. Completely blowing my mind........how is Huysmans not worshiped* His work is absolutely insane.

Ive been incredibly bored lately. I used to have someone to do stuff with......fuck not having a best friend.








I'm going to stay home tonight. I am feeling very sick with swine.

Disclaimer: Most of the punctuation on my keyboard is not working. sry.

The past two weeks have been very sucky. Im assuming most of the people that read this thing know me, and therefor are familiar with my bunk circumstances. In fact, I dont even feel like writing this. FML.

I will say this....J.K.Huysmans LA-BAS or THE DAMNED is incredible. Written in 1891. Dude was a serious brainiac.

Also, gossip kills, and talk is poison. You know who you are. Fuck you, die slow, get a hobby.

.......said it best.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZy2xq1DTNo

Preface:

FML.

Body:

The luxury having been spared the hard part.


Oh hi!

A lot of stuff has happened over the past couple of weeks.....

I went to Yellowstone Park and saw all sorts of animals, great and small. Bison make truly godless noises when angered. A harrowing experience to say the least.

Instead of recapping the whole trip, I'll list several keywords from which you can deduce what you will.

Here:

-Dramamine
-Sessions Lager x 24
-28 y/o baby
-Ursus Arctos Horribilis mauling?
-Complainer
-Sweet Dude
-Wallace, Idaho-great place to visit
-"Junk Food Diet"
-Madison River
-Smelly Socko
-MLM=Best
-MEC
-Pancake
-Ground Squirrel

There you have it!

I met with my father mano e mano for the first time since I found out my parents are parting ways. What can I say.....things fall apart, you know.........the secret of the easy yoke.......I guess I don't care as much as I should.

I recently tried Stewart's Root Beer. It was okay.....I guess a 6+ out of a possible 10? Stewart's sodas seem cursed with a poor aftertaste of ca-ca.

I recently started wearing deodorant again. It's been a hot minute since I last wore that shit. Sometimes I need it, usually I don't. I copped some real futuristic Gillette joint from the bodega....it smells so gross............I want one of those crystals that you just rub on your pits and it magically steals all the odour and sends it to backshemesh or something.

Lately I've been real bummed. FML. Sort of a grip of things adding up and making me feel real overwhelmed and blindly negative. Oh well, FML till it's gone.

Got some cool books. Not your cup of tea though.

Have to sell my scooter. Awesome.

I've never been anywhere near this broke in my life.

I want to make poor choices.

Stir crazy.

Cryptocrisy-Get into it.

Yo. Two weird things happened to me this week......like.....involving sleeping or beds....or whatever.......

1. I woke up to find a sleeveless In Stride t-shirt that I sometimes wear under collared shirts covered in blood. Like.....I'm not talking about a couple little splotches or some nose-bleed coagulate.....it looked like the last person to wear it had been stabbed while doing so........??? I haven't worn the shirt in at least a month, and had put it away in my dresser the following day. After discovering the bloody article in the morning, I examined by body for blood, and checked up my nose for dried joints....nothing. You tell me.

2. I peed the bed. Yes.....I peed the bed. Laugh all you want, but let me assure you I don't struggle with continence issues as a rule. I can't remember the last time this happened......even as a child I was told I was never a bed-wetter......I can drink a 6er of Bud and not pee once....................anyways.......I thought at first it may have just been sweat as a result of the recent heat wave and soaring temperatures in my bedchamber. It didn't smell like pee, and wasn't localized to the area of the blanket and sheets in contact with my crotch....but I don't think it's humanly possible to sweat so much that my blanket could be easily rung out........I'm sorry.

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I've become addicted to fizzy water. This in conjunction with my recent penchant for bubble tea is truly wreaking havoc on my already weakened psyche. Between the two, a large portion of my waking minutes are spent thinking about bubbly beverages. Why am I such a freak. I only take coconut jellies in my bubble tea, and I'm partial to mango-strawberry slush. Recently I tried Global Bubble in tinseltown. Incredible! Hands down the best I've had. I returned twice in two hours to procure more of the bizarre treat.

Bye/F.U.

Yo. Bubble tea culture is taking over my life.

Also, way into Keiji K. Robotta!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6vQk5gHENA

Puzzle Bobble? Yes please!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSCg1pXOULc

I really variations of mango-slush. Mango-strawberry, mango-pineapple, mango-peach, and mango-kiwi are some of my favourites. Also, coconut jellies are the BEST! Blueberry are good too. So far, my favourite Bubble tea joint is Bubble World on Robson. I had mango-strawberry w/coconut jellies. It was very good! And they have puzzle bobble! Losing my mind. THNX 4 lstning.

Yo.

Hrmmmmmmmmmmmyaah. I feel crazy.

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Things To Do Today:

1.Quit Job
2.Ride Scooter(Fast)
3.Go Catting
4.Listen To Records
5.Read
6.Ride Scooter(Medium)
7.Eat Bread And Fancy Cheese
8.Hang Out With Friends
9.Beers
10.Sleep

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Today I told me boss, who happens to also be a good friend, that I would soon be leaving his company. This move was preceded by a number of frustrating.......careful.......incidents. I shall leave it at that.

Now I shall work with at-risk youth in Vancouver's Downtown East Side. I've worked for years with young people, whether through church organizations, or as a private contractor with children afflicted with Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I've always thoroughly enjoyed it, although I can think of few things more heinous than getting hit with human shit at 7:00 am in Newton, BC. I suppose being crucified would be pretty annoying..............................................................Or being boiled and eaten with asparagus spears by ROSANNE BARRRRR!!!!! Oh god! How wretched! I wish ill on almost nobody, but how I'd love to open the Guardian while relaxing on my front porch early tomorrow morning, and read that RB had finally succumbed to her nagging cocaine addiction, and had at long last given up the ghost.
I would dance in the streets. I would kiss babies held by war time dames in adorable oxford shoes. I would pour expensive champagne over my head and throw fifty dollar bills to all the other revelers. I would at last be complete. Sorry....it's just........she's sort of the one "person" that irks me beyond comprehension.

I recently acquired the following record:

BLITZ-Never Surrender B/W Razors In The Night(No Future/Oi 6-1982).......Words cannot express how happy I am with this acquisition. Not an incredibly rare record, per se, but one that has evaded my capture since I was a mere 14 year old mohawked, bondage trouser'd punk rocker. Pure nostalgia.

This Saturday I am going to watch Chelsea FC vs Seattle Sounders in Seattle. I'm excited! The last time I saw Chelsea play, they fielded Emile Hesky. Tres brut! Gans Geil! Vet Stuur! I intend to cause maximum bovver.

I recently saw the film BRUNO. Don't waste your time with this one.

It was my birthday on Sunday. I turned 27 years old. The one thing I wanted for my birthday was for my parents to get back together....but they didn't. Maybe I would also like a time-travel device to return to instances where I made terrible life choices, or hurt people's feelings, or ran over a possum.....and undo those things.......Kate & Leopold? Yes please.

Snake & Goo-opold

My ripping 80's hardcore band VS is playing some shows in America. America is Babylon. I am excited to rage hard, and drink 40 oz bottles of Steel Reserve for $1.40. Uh oh!

I think Swiss Cheese crackers by Christie are very tasty. A tasty treat. I enjoy them with water, or Good Host iced tea.

What do you think of me? Do you like me? I like you. You are my friend.

I self-removed a sizable mole from the back of my neck last week. Goodbye cancer! Goodbye friendo's.

-christopher michael gustafson, best

<3 u

Soooooooooooon.........................................One of the strangest words in the English language.

Tonight I went to see this overrated rock & roll duo play two sets of fifteen songs. I have the records, and some of the songs are a solid 7/10, but live I just feel like the Indian half is making up for the fact that the European half is sitting down and barely moving the whole show and is kiiiinda overselling it.......maybe I'm projecting, but maybe I'm right. I feel like those last two sentences are going to fly WAAAAAAAAYYY over everyone's head. Wise up people, this isn't rocket science. It's called allegory in the Queen's English. Overall the show was decent. I got to see two of my very favourite people(DO NOT TAKE IT INTO THE BATHROOM!!!)and drank too much to safely ride home, but did anyways because I really and truly do not give a fuck. I mean, I'm writing this now......I can't have been in such an advanced state of wastoidness as to warrant leaving my scooter somewhere weird if I am presently composing such an assemblage of tortured genius....surely not. Truth is, as soon as I got on my asshole chariot I felt OK, and had a boring, slow, uneventful ride home down seldom-traveled roads.

En route to said overrated rock concert, I was challenged to some sort of fight by an Asian man on Keefer Street. He cut me off in his minivan, causing me to skid sideways and almost crash, so I felt justified in saying "Learrrrn how to drive, doiyoy"....this man took exception to this and got out of his car and began gesticulating threateningly in the middle of the street. All I could manage was a loud sigh, and I then I rode away. Was it the "DOIYOY" that upset him so? Who calls someone a doiyoy anyhow. I'm a weirdo!

What else happened recently......OH! Check this out.

Friday Night:

Myself, Norman, and Chris R. went to see our friend's band Infamy play. They were really good, and possess possibly the tightest vibe of any vancouver band. So, I drank way, way too much, and somehow made it home after walking for a couple of hours from 28th and Victoria. The events of the rest of the night are a complete blur, although I remember sitting on the couch with Miranda and throwing a stainless steel thermos full of water at the television. After that I imagine I was coerced into bed, and after a tortured sleep full of dreams featuring red haired clowns in yellow jumpsuits I woke to find myself in quite a repulsive state. One boot was still on, one pant leg was off, the other down around my ankles, but somehow my underwear was off and in my dirty laundry basket. Think about it. I can't make sense of the order of things. Also in my possession upon my awakening was a McDonalds bag full of cold french fries, a receipt for $4.50 worth of gasoline and wine gums, and two passport photos of myself wearing a completely different outfit. Bizarre.

On Sunday I saw/talked to my father for the first time in since I found out that he is leaving my mother. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.


It would seem from the above paragraphs that I lead a fairly charmed life. I assure you, this is not that case, and that I spend most of every day bored beyond comprehension.

Goodnight.

Hi.

Sometimes when I wear the same socks all day long I get severe hair cramps. If you don't know what hair cramps are, you're lucky! It happens when a hair, or 15 000 hairs, are bent all in the same direction.....and then like....this sounds so stupid to explain....when you bend the hairs opposite to the direction they were previously oriented, it hurts. So, for instance....today I had white athletic socks on my two feet. Over those, I had 10 hole boots which I lace as tightly as possible. I put the socks on at about 9:30 AM today, and I've only just removed them. My leg hairs are all compressed tightly to my leg, and when my jeans rub against them it hurts. That's my hair-cramps story. I feel really boring.

I just ate a lot of sushi.

I think I've become immune to Reactine allergy tablets. NOTHING is working for me! I'm going insane. I blew my nose about four hundred times yesterday, and riding a scooter makes it worse I think. All the wind in my face just multiplies the number of allergens entering my already shredded system, and makes my eyes even more sore than usual. This never used to happen to me, and I feel like someone has placed a curse of some sort on me. Good thing M's dad brought me home a idol from Tanzania that I can probably use to remove the curse, or "Bad Juju", as it where. I know it works for putting curses on things, because I cursed Chad's lunch the other day and it made his stomach ache afterwards. I need to get in touch with a witch doctor, and fast!

I'm reading 'Last Exit To Brooklyn' by Hubert Selby Jr. It's so gnarly. A very difficult read, but I've been enjoying it HARD. This is the second time I've tried to read it. The last time I gave up about 50 pages in, because Selby doesn't use punctuation of any sort. No periods, no commas, no quotation marks, and none of these *. But who really uses those anyways? I remember Tolkien using them, and obviously authors employ the use of the criminally underrated asterisk to denote citations of different types. But fuckin' Tolkien just throws them in wherever he wants.

Yo..Michael Jackson is dead. That's insane. The King Of Pop! Dead at......does anyone really know how old dude was? I guess technically he would have been 50....but all those plastic surgeries maybe subtracted 10 from that, and replaced those years with some sort of bizarre.....something else....I don't know. I think it's a bummer...and I'm sure I'll make jokes about it before too long...but obviously the guy was mentally ill, and unhappy. No one should die in that state. Except Rosanne. I seriously hate Rosanne Barr more than words could possibly explain.

I'm also still reading Defoe's 'A Journal Of The Plague Year'......it's so tight. Basically it's an account(fictional-but informed)of one of the more major visitations of the Bubonic Plague on London. Contrary to popular belief, there wasn't any single 'Black Death'.....there were many visitations, or 'Plagues' to afflict the European continent and further abroad. The plague in this story takes place in 1665-an historically accurate re-telling of actual journals used as reference material by Defoe, who wrote this missive in 1722. I think plague artwork is some of the coolest ever produced. So hopeless. Like, on the cover of this book is a skeleton standing outside the gates of a city holding an hourglass in its last seconds in one hand, and a scythe in the other. There are people carrying coffins, and above the city is the angel of death in a black cloud, holding a sword, and a whip. It's called "Lord Have Mercy On Us" and is from around the same time the book was first put to page. Hard.

I'm taking the split of my parents really badly. It's seriously taking its toll, and shit between them is only getting worse as more lies and chaff rise to the surface.

Sumol Pineapple soda is so good.

Me and my friends are starting a night at the Black Frog in Gastown. It is going to be awesome. I selected the records for my first set already. All bangers. Byebye.

miss you.

Yo. Doyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee! Im in my room. Within easy reach of where I'm sitting are the following:

Beer cans(empty) X 14
Beer Cans(full) X 1
Oasis Pineapple Juice container(empty) X 1
Coca Cola bottle(empty) X 1
Reactine(extra strength) x 23
Asahi Pentax Spotmatic F 35mm SLR
Contax 139 Quartz 35mm SLR(for sale)
A rosary(ex-girlfriends's)
Silver necklace w/ St. Francis icon
Red Sharpie marker
Thomas Merton's "The Seven Storey Mountain"
Huber Selby Jr.'s "Last Exit To Brooklyn"(heavy)
Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopedia-Vol II
Waxpoetics Issue 17
Scootering July 09 Issue
DVD-'A Clockwork Orange'
LP-Jonny Moped 'Cycledelic'
LP-Harry J. ALlstars 'Liquidator'(banger)
Garbage
dirty dishes
broken dishes

Tonight my band is playing a show. I'm glad. It should be fun and it'll be my first time playing on a stage in years. I feel kind of sick. Too many tacos.

Hare Krishna

solomon's seal

this is possibly the worst entry yet.

Sorry.

Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I feel weird.

Last night on my way home from ------'s place I stopped in at Gain Wah on Keefer St. It's open late, and the food is very cheap.....although rather gross at times. In the front they have one of those aerated lobster/crab tanks containing one crab, and one lobster. It's one of the saddest, most depressing things I've ever seen. Some years ago, a group of Buddhists from in and around Vancouver took it upon themselves to purchase, and liberate as many of the Lower Mainland's captive lobsters as they could afford to purchase. I'm unaware of the actual number or lobsters procured, but I do know that they released all of the recently freed invertebrates into Burrard Inlet, near Stanley Park's North shore. Awesome. Area biologists have discovered a thriving Atlantic Lobster population beneath the waters of English Bay, Burrard Inlet, False Creek, and as far East as Indian Arm. I like lobsters a lot. I think they're underrated and delicious.
On a related tip, I recently discovered that Coney Island Fish & Chips in Whiterock has been serving various denizens of the deep such as catfish, carp, dogfish, and other bottom-feeding garbage fish under the names 'COD' and 'HALIBUT' on their menus. I've eaten at Coney Island more times than I can count, and to think that I've ingested countless kilos of mercury-ridden, oven-fodder waste, is disconcerting to say the least. WTF, Coney. I thought you were down. This customer is NOT stoked.

My parents split up. Talk about caught off-guard. Talk about lemons. Anyone have a recipe for lemonade? Hemlock lemonade, perhaps?

What else.......I cut my nails twice a week. I FREAK OUT if they get long enough to show like....that white part. Fingernails are made of the same protein as one's hair. I wish instead of fingernails people just had hair growing out the ends of their fingers. It would be useful for things like dusting, painting, tickling, and applying rouge on the weekends!

Right now this is what I'm wearing:

DR Martens Boots-10 hole, original 1969 made in England edition, Oxblood, brown soles, Yellow laces(graveyard laced)

White sport socks-slightly stained a rusty hue due to bleeding of Oxblood polish

Royal blue briefs, perhaps a size too small(sorry, GROSS)

Levi's 501 jeans-tailored to 7.5 inch leg width, and 27 inch inseam

Ben Sherman maroon patterned Gingham shirt-short sleeved, button down colar(strictly) top button undone while lounging, will button it up if i leave the house

Black Fred Perry sweater vest

emerald green super thin braces(suspenders) by MERC london.

You know the deal.

Experienced some serious record scores in Portland a few weeks ago. Too many and too cool to post here. Nobody would understand. Also saw a grip of Grey Whales along the coast from Neah Bay WA. to Canon Beach Oregon. I think they knew I was going to be around, and showed up to say "Hiya!" There were entire towns on the Olympic Peninsula that were essentially abandoned. It was bizzare and creepy.

Bye. I love you.

i have a computer in my room. good or bad? a bit of both! tee hee hee! i can type whenever i want, and data format trunk dunk your mom's junk. we're having a party on the 24th of aprilrlrlrlr. this friday. melty face broke into brent bro's car tonight and stole his drum stuff. kick pedals, stands....you know. we got it back through a friend who's sketching out and knows where melty face camp. i realize this must sound like my usual cryptic bullshit, but a guy with a melted face stole brentables stuff for real. all is good now. but dude SUUUUCKs.

........or cue the burgoo!

what's new? you tell me. not much i guess. hanging HARD with him and her, beers, burgers, a few laughs. soul night, punk rock, rocking steady. embarking soon on a road trip from Pt. Townsend WA, to Hells Canyon Nat'l park on the Idaho/Montana border....all by way of the West Coast of Washington and Oregon. getting rude on the wrong side of the tracks. no itinerary other than Mississippi records at some point....chased with the Ace Hotel in Portland. first time staying in a hotel in many moons. psyched for free breakfast/not being wet/cold climbing into a half-frozen wetsuit at 7:00 am. after being kept awake by trolls/bears all night. heinous. band is going well. a few wild shows, one 7" down, two more in the final stages of DVLPMNT. next to see the light of day VIA deranged recs at some point this summer perhaps.....fall? greek salad is tough to beat when done right, and let me tell you, in this house it is done right. lemon juice is key. FRESH oregano. sheep feta presiding. 3 types of olives. kosher salt. chuck it in the freezer for 10 minutes, add mice face trout lace. psyche! just eat that shit because my friend, IT IS READY! burgoo is worst for wear. also.....yo....get this........you are not going to believe this..........


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that is a recipe for crab cakes in morse code. no shit. this entry is 2 WILD! i don't know what else to write. still hung up on various hang ups, let downs, and V-Rockets. still missing so-and-so and what's her name. still feeling super cool. still a cat fancier at heart. rabbits also. pikas. RED PANDAS! and these flightless parrots from NZ. super cute and tragic. OKBYE.

-Christopher M. Gustafson, BA

Dear diary. It's been a while! Har harhar!!! Gnyahahah!!1111!! Oh dear me, what have I been up to......................
well, i've been doing this band with Kram, Brent, and Terry, and we played a show the other night. It was packed out and people went off for all the bands. it was tight. a little tooooooo tight IYKWIS!!!!!!!!!!!! sollksslkjfskfjjf

what elsesle??????????????........>hrmmm..........um....i still have a girlfriend, which surprises even me.......i bought a new scooter....well, new to me. it's a 71 Lambretta Serveta Li150 Special. old timey italian stylee in white with some custom rust coloration. havenenent not have not started work on it yet, but hopefully will have it running one or two months. it seats two, and i intend to make full use of this feature.

i've been working lots with autistic kids lately through fam. services. it's a great time, and i've been saved from having to clean up snot, poo, pee, boogers, diahrea diarhea 578o78tk7htkjtgruykkdmxjngfssex and it pays well too! one of the kids is 7, and from vietnam. he is hilarious and yells at everything that moves.

my lover is a cover for my brother...;\i\\\it/s a p;enis mom death;inail. ilvoe you ssex. p;esstel i\ mean pistol, y\]bye chard.
-chad

i didn't write that....up there.

i feel like i have bad breath right now.

we're having a big party on friday night. you should come. i told my landlord about and he was like "why would i give a fuck? do whatever you want, make lots of noise." done and done!

we're playing another show this saturday. it should be fantastic, as all the bands on the bill RULE. and it's saturday night, it'll be over by the time most people are heading out for the night, so come by and check it out.

Gone But Not Forgotten(Seattle)
Keep It Clear(Vancouver Knights)
Dichotomy(jap noise hardcoreygnyah)
Vacant State(Best vancouver band since DOA)
Healthy Students(who knows)

648 Kingsway @ Fraser
$5
7 pm-10:30
No hard drugs

MARDUK'N

i'm so bored. i have to totututufufufufufufufufu tidy up and put away all the breakable stuff.

my room is a disasteroif and it's bumming me out so bad. it seriously makes me want to committ suicide. PSYCHE!

in the past two weeks, three people have accused me of tanning. apparently my skin has taken on an orangish hue. i couldn't be more bummed. despite my best attempts to scrub, scrape, and exfoliate away the orange filth......it remains on my poor visage. maybe i'm blowing this out of proportion. maybe i'm just healthy looking as opposed my usual grym-northern-forest-kvlt-aryan tonal hues. i have been eating well.......feasting even! on the earths' finest offerings and consuming staggering amounts of oat soda........with that said, it's possible the 'tan' is just jaundice.....or worser......liver spots? who knows. up the volume, up the dose.

received the test pressings(5-so don't ask for one!!!) of the Vacant State 7".....which is a hardcore punk band featuring the following members:

Brent Bros(In Stride, Ghost Dad)-drums
Gustavio(Wrecking Ball, From From, No-Homo)-bass
mark 'kram' palm(Go It Alone, Keep It Clear)-guitar
terry-lee wilk(Snake Run)-voice

music is a mix of street punk and early 80's boston hardcore in the vein of negative FX with a touch of SS Decontrol thrown in for good measure. some fast, some medium, some crawlingly slow droned out echo-fests.......all under a cloud of hiss. 7" sounds great. first pressing will be of 1000....i think. black vinyl, big hole, no cover...just a dust sleeve and stamped logo. second 7" already in production stages. also, there will be a SOBER UNIT cover. an unreleased, never before heard OI! hammer. skin.

i have got to be one of the luckiest guys in the world.

going to seattle with Mandy for new years instead of tofino, which will happen the week after new years instead to make use of the lower prices on a fancy resort on the beach. very fancy. in seattle i intend to attend a show, drink beers, and hang out with friends.

i ate ice cream last night. too much.

i'm not sure why. maybe it's the dust or something, or kram's ultra bright computer screen. today two different people commented on my tan. i didn't know i had one? apparently my skin is turning brown. i don't really care....i mean life could be worse. unless its jaundiced or cirhossis of the liv. total bummy. but i don't drink that much...well..........i drink a fair amount....but nowhere near enough to be jaundiced. do i eat too many carrots? olives? clif bars? oh my god. i'm coming unglued.

so we will be receiving the test pressings soon of my latest bands latest venture. it's funny to see how many people are excited about it.....and we decided to press a large number of 7" off the bat.....without having played a single show. we've been practicing like mad.

i hate SFU.

i had a dream about a cat names melvin, so i think that's what i will name my cat.....if i ever get one. although that won't suffice should the cat be female. then it'll be jane or doctor. or debbie. i think debbie is a cute name.....maybe a little toooooooooooo cute IYKWIS.

i watched the movie 'Waking Ned Devine' tonight. it's good. i've never been like, a movie buff. i think it's stupid to waste so much time and money being into something that bombards one's senses with unrealistic images and scenarios. although i do enjoy sean connery as agent 007.

i've selected a new surfboard for the spring and summer months. it's quite a lot larger than any shred-sled i've owned up until now-8'11. a veritable log in comparison. it is green.

the inbreds are my ALL TIME favourite canadian band. i haven't been listening to much non reggae/rocksteady/ska music lately, but when i do, it's the inbreds. the 90's produced so much awesome music. listen to the first two templars records. i don't know what i'm doing writing here. i need to work tomorrow morning very early and i promised myself i wouldn't drink tonight. oops! anygays, i like music. i've also been listening to the following artists, and highly reccomoememenrd them for any non-'of montreal' fans. see also any non-'morons' or fans of poor music.s

pat kelly
slim smith
the uniques(see slim smith)
the techniques
sam cooke
justin hinds and the dominos
martha reeves
marduk(circa panzer div. attacks-sketchy!)
smog
the templars
criminal class
the troggs
them
the monks
the circles
the tvees
manfred mann
poverty bay saints
the inbreds
red cross
sick pleasures
bl'ast
cockney rejects
the strike
angelic upstarts
the paragons
the termites
i don't know what else. lots of good jams out there. even locally. we're super lucky in vancouver, although we need more cool bands, and the bands that are cool need to play more, which means me and you need to book more shows and have kegs there an cats. ok byte!

today i saw an asian man with a bleached-out flat top haircut unloading a truck. that is all.